Far Too Long

I haven’t written in what feels like years and I’m pretty sure everyone that followed this blog just kind of didn’t care or figured I have fallen off the face of the Earth. It’s partly true.

However, though I may have fallen off the face of the Earth, it’s only because life has gotten so incessantly crazy!

I was hired as an English teacher!! Yay, excitement, celebration! But yes, I was hired as a high school English teacher and words could not describe how happy I was! I was also re-hired for this upcoming school year despite being on a transitional license. I was honestly slightly unsure that this is what I wanted to do because I desire adventure and this almost felt like settling for security. If you’ve ever felt that way about a job you were thinking about accepting, take your chances and accept it. I love my job so much it’s not even a job. I wouldn’t change my decision for anything (except for maybe being a famous singer, ha!). Truly though, I am so happy about the changes in my life.

Another change is the separation from my long-time boyfriend Weston. This happened about three or four months ago. I made the decision and honestly it was really hard. I found myself out of love and too focused on all of the things I didn’t like or found “wrong” about our relationship, and I knew that that’s not right. I began to feel like not only was I wasting his time, I was wasting mine as well. When I asked myself, “Could I be with him the rest of my life?” I was so doubtful, and I’m pretty sure I even heard my heart and mind, both in synchronization, say “No.” This was heartbreaking for me to realize. I am a person of my word, so when I said, “I love you.” to him, I really meant it. However, feeling this way made me feel like my words were wrong or fake. When I said them to him, I truly meant it. After not believing in love and then falling in love, it was hard to also accept that falling out of love is a thing. I really hope that he is okay. He deserves the world and one day the world will work in his favor.

I’ve reconnected with some good, old friends of mine. We’ve all been friends since the 6th grade and they’re doing such great things with their life. If you asked me one year ago where I thought I’d be in life, my answer would be a lot different than where I actually am today. However, I am much happier to find myself here than where I thought I wanted to be.

While you might think you know exactly what you want out of life or where you’d like to be, it’s okay to accept the curveball. You might find that it’s a much better place.

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