When Friends Suck

Since I was little I dreamed of having a friend group that you see on shows. Shows like That 70’s Show or Friends.

And I did.

In high school, I eventually had my own little group to which we even called each other names from That 70’s Show. I was Jackie…but I was okay with that.

Josh was Kelso, Brett was Hyde, Tina was Donna, Billy was Fez…

It was so fun. We hung out all of the time (literally), and some of my best memories are from those times.

Since then I’ve felt like a nomad when it came to friends. Not only did I move, but I also was trying to find things to move the time along. I wanted a close friend group, but there really wasn’t one to have I suppose or one that I felt a part of. For a while I hung out with a specific group, but they had been friends since high school so I never felt like I belonged.

I’m not sure there will be another one like my friend group.

But when I moved back to my home town, my old group of friends from middle school were all here. They hung out together all of the time, and I felt like it was something I could join in because we had had such great times together in the past… until I was told I couldn’t.

Yeah…can you believe that? “We are friends, but you can’t be part of our friend group.”

Tell me how that works.

Anyway, have you ever been introduced to someone who already has an opinion of you?

You’ve never met them before, or even heard of them. As far as you knew, they didn’t even exist.

Yet, here they are, disliking you to your core as soon as you meet them.

This was the case when I met Elizabeth. I was close friends with her then boyfriend for years, but hadn’t really known she existed until I moved back here from Indiana in 2013. I was excited to meet her because she was the girlfriend of someone I cared about and had always been a good friend to me, but I soon found out that, in her exact words, she “just doesn’t like me as a person and probably never will”.

I completely understand first impressions. I am big on first impressions, though this wouldn’t crucify a person forever. I also understand that not everyone is going to like me. Trust me on that one: I’ve come across people that I simply do not like and who simply do not like me. Though, I would never say I don’t like them as a person. I could find one thing I like about probably anyone. It’s also kind of my specialty considering my job.

But I digress. Despite knowing this information, I “gave it my best college try” as some say. My boyfriend often wanted me to attend these “team” events (as they called them) because these people were his friends and have been for seven years. These people were supposed to be my friend too, but it left a bad taste in my mouth when the idea of me being included in this “team” was rejected. I also observe people very closely, and I often did not feel welcome considering these events happened at Liz’s townhouse.

So Liz, long story short, I’ve never spent time with you…at all. I’ve never had an actual conversation with you either if we’re being honest.

Before I knew who you were, you “knew” who I was. I was the girl at 19 who had to call my close friend to come pick me up so that I wouldn’t drive drunk. I was the girl at 20 that had been sexually and physically assaulted so I felt broken inside for a while. I was the girl at 21 who was overwhelmed at her graduation because I was trying to help my parents find their way and 8+ other friends as well, so I lost track of who I was texting and talking to. I apologized as much as a person could, and I tried so hard to make up for it. I was the girl at 23, struggling with a relationship that had deeper problems I had started to check out on, but was still trying to make work the best I could.

However, I’m past all of that now. It’s not like Liz cares anyway. Nor does it seem like anyone outside of who I hang out with cares.

I know that if this was one of my friends, I’d be raising hell the whole way…especially now…but everyone is not like me.

None of this ever really hurt me anyway. If you want to keep your “elite” friend group an exclusive thing and invite people who are desperate for yours and Cory’s approval, then do it.

What actually hurts me is seeing how my boyfriend feels. He had hung out with all of you for seven or more years consistently. He was supposed to be your friend. If he could forgive you for calling his family bad people, why don’t you treat him like a friend?

In fact, what’s wrong with that entire friend group? What is wrong with you guys? It reminds me of that cheesy saying, “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” I’m posting this just waiting for someone to say something, even if it starts an argument so that someone will just say something.

Thank God for my old friend group. So many people came and went, but no matter what they were welcomed…even if they were “hazed” in like John when we convinced him we snorted Smarties to get into our group (it was high school, okay?).

I know that Josh and Brett have completely separate lives that I am not a part of anymore, but I love them anyway just as they’ve always loved me. I know that if I ever truly needed them, they’d be there for me.

In the end, I’m thankful to have had that friend group. More now than ever. And I’m thankful for who I have in my life, because they are the golden ones. Well, more like diamond since I’m sure our friendships will last and are much more durable (yes, a Minecraft reference… I’m sorry.).

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